


First Seeds

by BronzeAgeLove



Category: Mass Effect, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Bittersweet Ending, F/M, Interspecies Relationship(s), Interspecies Romance, Interspecies Sex, Minor Character Death, Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-02
Updated: 2018-01-02
Packaged: 2018-12-10 07:07:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 18,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11686587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BronzeAgeLove/pseuds/BronzeAgeLove
Summary: A couple of years after the First Contact War.Jane is a young woman stuck in a boring job doing security work on one of Earth's orbital terminals. Her uneventful life gets a sudden jolt when, against her will, she is chosen as attendant for a very special event: The first turian envoy to Earth.She is paired with Kieran, a turian in his last years of active service but with no aspirations of continuing a military career, on a two week exchange program to make him acquainted to life on Earth.After the initial awkwardness of living together, Jane and Kieran find out that they're not as different as they originally thought, and start developing feelings for each other.But nothing‘s that easy, and the simple exchange turns into something far more complicated that will change them both permanently...





	1. The day that changed her life

**Author's Note:**

> A story from the Mass Effect universe that originated in a discussion at work (I have awesome co-workers!) about which aspects of ME could be turned into movies or TV series... this was my idea.  
> The story was originally written for myself as a way of getting through a rough patch in my life. It’s my first attempt ever at writing fiction, so it might be a little unpolished.  
> Since I'm still learning and want to get better, comments and improvement proposals are very highly appreciated, feel free to reach me at bronzeagelove.tumblr.com :)
> 
> 10/2017 Edit: Added some additional dialogue and did a few layout changes to improve structure and readability
> 
> 1/2018 Edit: Added an alternate happy ending epilogue by request. For those who don‘t like their endings bittersweet <3
> 
> **The Mass Effect Universe belongs to BioWare. OCs are my own**

Mornings always came way too early.

Cursing the new technology, Jane Bergen hit the snooze on her omni-tool again, then rolled over to the other side. Although it was still early and she was keeping the shutters closed, the room was already heating up in the summer sun. _Damn you Ireland for making such fine whiskey_ , she thought bleary-eyed.

After a lazy breakfast of protein smoothie with crackers, she trudged over into her tiny bathroom to put on a little make-up and brush her dark bob, then left for another uneventful day.

Jane was 29 years old and working as a security officer affiliated to the Alliance on Europe's main orbital terminal, monitoring tourists and commuters on their way to and from the surface of the planet. Sometimes she got to do some supervision duty for visitors, which she liked, as it changed her daily rhythm. It was definitely not the most adventurous or best-paying job in the galaxy, but did the trick by being reasonably secure. Being part of the Alliance's network was good for more than one perk, including facilitated medical treatment as well as free access to their sports grounds.

Jane wasn't big on adventures anyway. Stuck in a rut and bordering on depression, the most exciting thing she did lately was drinking her way through different brands of liquor by herself at home, a way of forgetting melancholy and loneliness.

At the station waiting for the maglev to take her to Zurich Spaceport, she watched some news vids on her omni-tool. In between reports about growing mercenary powers in far away systems, there seemed to be first gossips about the Alliance gaining a permanent office on the Citadel station in the near future, which wasn't well received by the turians. Admiral Grissom's long overdue visit to Palaven was coming up, but the aliens seemed reluctant to allow a human envoy to their homeworld in order to work out their differences.

Jane sighed. Humanity had gone a long way in the last years, all across the galaxy, nearly starting a war at that, and while she'd always dreamed about leaving Earth, she wasn't sure about this whole new world that had suddenly opened up to them less than a decade ago. Her brain had some difficulty wrapping itself around the notion of so many different species, so many places and possibilites suddenly popping up.

She'd already met asari and salarians during her work, but to her own surprise, had found them really easy to get along with after a short adjustment period. Aside from their different looks, they were all courteous, civilized people, not at all different from humans. Though still rather rare, by now humanity had gotten used to seeing other spacefaring races walk around the streets of their homeworld. One day, Jane knew, she was going to have enough funds for visiting that famous Citadel, center of civilized space, and hopefully enjoy all the new impressions it was going to bring, but for the moment, this one little planet was enough for her- she currently didn't have enough energy nor money to go on a proper vacation.

On her way to the orbital shuttle, she was rejoined by two of her work mates, Miller and Takeya. Miller was a trainee Alliance pilot with a dream of flying interstellar warships one day, while Takeya worked with her on security, albeit in a different position. He was Chief D'Onofrio's personal assistant and the biggest blabbermouth Jane had ever encountered.

„Hey Bergen“, Takeya began, as the lift-off pressed them into their seats, „heard about Grissom going to Palaven next month? The turians don't want us there, but I overheard D'Onofrio talking about an agreement that they'll send their own envoy here during the same time! Imagine that, those ugly-ass turians on Earth! But you didn't hear it from me“, he added with a wink.

Jane smiled, safe in the knowing that she wasn‘t going to have anything to do with it. „Well, at least for what I care, all I have to do is say 'move on, nothing to see here' and nod“, she answered.

Takeya grinned at her, while Miller shook his head, sighing: „Shut your hole, man, that information‘s classified...“

They spent the rest of the journey in silence, Jane looking at her own reflection in the porthole as the familiar blue sky was slowly replaced by the darkness of space. A narrow face, maybe a bit foxy-looking, with prominent cheekbones and almond-shaped eyes that made her look slightly aloof. Not exactly beautiful, but it was all right, she thought, plus she prided herself on being one of the few humans left with naturally blue eyes- centuries of intermixing had nearly exterminated blond hair, too.

After arriving at the main passenger dock, the three of them parted ways, Miller rambling on to Takeya about this rad new interstellar corvette he was flying on.

At the locker room, Jane changed into her uniform and signed in on her omni-tool, scanning the worklist as it updated. The usual pings about incoming traffic as well as two Alliance visitors who needed a guide around the terminal- nothing special. But the top one made her hesitate. It was an urgent message from Chief D'Onofrio himself, citing her to his office before starting her shift. Jane wasn't sure if she had done something wrong to make him angry, so she sighed and walked on to the cadre offices with a feeling of anxiety in her chest.

 

* * *

 

„Come in“, D'Onofrio called when Jane tentatively knocked on the door. She sidled in and stood to attention in front of his desk. Chief D'Onofrio was not a big man, but he was very composed, radiating a lot of authority even when seated. He was rumoured to be one of the most powerful men in Sol system and that he only answered to the Alliance big shots, so Jane didn't like the notion of having drawn his attention at all.

„Sir, you called?“ Jane said, trying to sound detached and professional.

„Miss Bergen,  I have a personal request to ask of you“, D'Onofrio began. „As you may be aware, Admiral Grissom will be on Palaven on from next month, to continue demonstrating peaceful intents. In order to allow him there, we had to agree to house a turian envoy on Earth during the same period of time. The information is going out to the media as I speak.“

Jane nodded, secretly glad about the heads-up Takeya had given her about the situation.

„Thank you for informing me“, she said, „but wouldn't it be better to hold an announcement for the whole staff? I guess we'll all be busy with preparations for when they arrive.“

D'Onofrio smiled, but it wasn't a very happy smile.

„The thing is, Miss Bergen, I need you for something else while the envoy is here. I have a few very good recommendations about your abilities as a guide from your supervisor. I wanted to put that to good use. We'll have three turian high military representatives visiting, for which I take full responsibility. Due to the higher radiation on Palaven, Admiral Grissom will be accommodated in orbit around the planet, so we decided to mirror this arrangement. The envoy will stay up here at the terminal, but we will take them on excursions down to the surface while negotiations and rapproachements take place. This assures that we can provide maximum security restrictions for media. However, there is a fourth, and this is where you come in.“

He leaned forward, looking at her intently. „This is still a secret. We want you to be a supervisor for a junior member of their envoy, as part of an interstellar peacemaking exchange programme that I personally proposed to the Alliance. You'll be his guide, so he can get acquainted to Earth and to humankind. Make a show of how smart, civilized and strong we all are. I want you to make sure that he goes back and tells positive things to his superiors, in order to strengthen our reputation in front of the council on the Citadel.“

Jane stared back at her boss, dumbfounded. „Sir, with all due respect, aren't there other people who are better suited to this task? Like... xeno-sociologists or something?“

D'Onofrio flashed his quick, cold smile again.

„We could have, but I thought we keep this simple- Junior officer to junior officer. The Swiss are still polite and not overly nosy people, so Zurich seemed a good homebase for this program. Plus, you look likeable. I will arrange a media ban on you and your actions too, bodyguards and all, but it's important for the official interviews that will take place at given times we'll have someone presentable enough. Nice young women get the best response from the audience. Any questions? I'll have you updated with everything by afternoon.“

Jane swallowed at the blatant rudeness of his statement, but her mouth was completely dry. „Thank you, sir“, was all she managed to utter, then she took a quick bow and left the office.

Outside, she had to lean against the cool metal wall to regain her composure. Thoughts were chasing around in her head. _What the hell was that about?_ she thought in desperation. _Has D'Onofrio gone crazy? As if I wanted to be the first person showing a turian around Earth! I don't know anything about them! What am I supposed to do, take him on a romantic trip to Paris?_

 

* * *

 

The rest of the day passed in a dumb haze. During break, her omni-tool pinged. Jane cringed as she saw the huge list of data files D'Onofrio had compiled for her.

She scanned through them quickly. Turian biology, history, ethics, news snippets, general information about the Citadel and their laws, a summary of the First Contact War (apparently, turians called it Relay 314 Incident), a huge file called „DETAILED INSTRUCTIONS: MUST READ“ and another labelled „HEALTH“. This caught her eye, so she tapped her controls and started reading about health risks concerning human-turian interactions because of different chirality of amino-acids in their biology, especially concerning their food. The memo even included addresses of Alliance clinics close by that had been instructed should problems during the program arise. She laughed a bit. _Imagine me making him eat a sandwich and having to explain to D'Onofrio why our guest is puking his heart out..._

„Watcha got there, Bergen?“, she suddenly heard Takeya call out cheerfully behind her. He swung himself into an empty chair beside her and peeped at her omni-tool.

Jane rolled her eyes, distaste in her voice.

„Apparently I'm supposed to chaperone one of the turians when they come here, sort of exchange program. I honestly don't know who came up with that stupid idea. D'Onofrio said I should do it, because he thought that I was easy to deal with and, in his words, _likeable_ “, she said, waving her fingers in the air indicating quotation marks.

„Wow Bergen, how awkward! What did you do to deserve D'Onofrio's wrath?“, Takeya laughed gleefully, dark eyes sparkling, „glad it's not me. How long will this alien _beau_ of yours stay?“

Jane jabbed at his ribs with her elbow. „Shut up, T. Two weeks, and honestly- I feel like shooting myself right now.“


	2. Meeting Kieran

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The big day has finally come. Jane meets Kieran for the first time, but her impression of him isn't too great.

A month later, the big day had come. Jane was nervously pacing the break room. Her heart was beating against her rib cage so hard she thought it might leap out like a salmon over a brook at the next possible moment. The whole last week had been spent convincing her parents over and over again that everything was going to be safe and that she wasn't going to be ripped to shreds by a savage alien. It had been exhausting being bombarded with thousands of questions by friends and work mates. She smoothed down the sides of her parade uniform for the fifth time, then checked her appearance. Everything fine, hair and make-up was still looking good.

Her pacing was only interrupted when D'Onofrio charged into the room. „Bergen!“, he hollered, „there's been a change of plans. Your subject will be staying at your place, our contracted hotel bailed out, citing 'difficulties'.“

Jane nodded curtly, although inside she felt like crawling into a hole. This thing just got better and better. Nobody seemed keen on having the aliens around.

Embarrassed, she thought about her apartment. She never liked having people over at her place, less even for something this important. Not that it was especially grimy or run-down, but she belonged to those stubborn employees that preferred staying on the planet and putting up with a long commute instead of renting one of the state of the art but more expensive rooms on the orbital station, and thus she had been given a small, very old-fashioned apartment in the hope she would finally give in and pay for a better one. Jane somehow liked her place, even if it reeked of patched-up 21st century style. She also didn't mind the irregular shifts her decision had brought, as she had to align her whole life with working in orbit. The terminal was geostationary over Middle Europe, so commuting was possible in a reasonable amount of time. Arrivals were scheduled around the clock, on a 24 hour basis. Thus, in order to be in time for her shifts, she sometimes had to get up in the middle of the night. Her living arrangements made meet-ups with friends very difficult, which in turn contributed to all her lonely evenings at home. Living up in orbit, where daily life, work, leisure and fun were all at your fingertips 24/7 would have been more relaxed. Still, she preferred seeing the blue sky above her when she got up.

Jane's mind was racing. Where was she supposed to stash a nearly seven foot alien for two weeks? She couldn't have him sleep in her bed for obvious reasons, so he would have to do with the couch. _Poor bastard,_ she thought with a twang of pity _, it's like being on a school exchange and getting the worst host family possible_.

D'Onofrio's omni-tool pinged. It was time.

Heart still beating fast, Jane followed him to the docking bay where the shuttle with the turian envoy was going to land. Left and right, other security guards and Alliance personnel in their parade uniforms were positioned, everyone looking sharp and tense. _They spared no effort or money on this occasion,_ Jane marvelled. Looking around, she recognized Takeya waiting near the airlock beside 2 nd Lieutenant David Anderson, one of the Alliance's best who had been fighting in the First Contact War. Anderson, though still young, was rumoured to be among the brightest military minds today, some even going so far to say that he was cut out to be someone grand soon. While Jane and D'Onofrio walked down the plush carpet that had been laid down in the hall, she caught Takeya winking at her. He'd always been attentive towards her, even more so now she'd been chosen to represent Earth on this programme.

Jane felt the collective holding of breath when the shuttle docked at last. The turians had left the frigate they had used to make the jump to Sol system orbiting near Jupiter to assure everyone of their harmlessness, and had been picked up there by an Alliance shuttle. Finally, their newly arrived guests stepped through the airlock into the brightly lit arrival hall. The first three, followed by two bodyguards, were dressed very sharply in decorated military uniforms that emphasized their angled frames and cowls. Jane had seen pictures and vids of turians before, but was still awed by the precise poise they radiated, the way they walked so gracefully on their strong legs. She had always had the impression that turians looked similar to bipedal dinosaurs, however now she found them to be more avian on closer inspection. Streamlined, like birds of prey, with tribal looking markings on their plated faces and bright, piercing eyes, they were the embodiment of alertness. One of them was sporting a crest of horns or spikes jutting out from the plates covering his forehead, while the other two didn't. Shortly behind them, the fourth member of their envoy was leaving the shuttle. He looked a bit younger than the others and was wearing dark grey, flatteringly cut combat fatigues which emphasized his figure, and lacked ornamentations except for one green stripe down his torso. It seemed to Jane he didn't have the rank of the first three and assumed that he was the one she was going to supervise.

 _Here goes nothing_. Jane checked her omni-tool for a last time to make sure all her information was correct, exhaled, then stepped forward to greet the new arrival.

„Welcome to Earth. My name is Jane Bergen, and I will be your attendant during your time here“, she said courteously, extending her hand in greeting.

Mandibles twitching a little, he looked at her with emerald green eyes, like a snake studying a mouse.

„Kieran Artaxias. ...or apparently that's what the universal translator makes my name sound like. I guess you wouldn't be able to pronounce it properly anyway. I read your file, you're not very highly ranked, aren't you.“

 _What a puffed-up jerk_ , she thought with a forced smile, her hand still extended and suddenly realizing that he might not be familiar with the gesture. He looked at her hand, seemingly a bit unsure on what to do, but then he proffered his own, and Jane shook it tentatively. His hand was huge compared to hers. It was a strange feeling, having herself touched by someone from an entirely different species for the first time. His hide was of  a dusty tan colour, fingers ending in sharp looking talons that reminded Jane of a raptor. Unsurprisingly, when he squeezed back, they conveyed pure strength.

They walked behind the committee in silence to the reception hall, where D'Onofrio, Anderson and quite a few of Earth's big shots were making their mandatory introduction round. It appeared to Jane to take hours until these first procedures were through, and as soon as she found some time, she decided to scoot off in order to catch her breath in a corner.

„Are you all right?“ she heard an unfamiliar voice behind her and turned around to find David Anderson standing there, a glass of wine in hand.

She nodded.

„Just trying to adjust to the situation“, she admitted with a shy smile. „I haven't had much time to get acquainted to the idea of being part of the first turian envoy to Earth, especially not of being the direct attendant for one of their members... apparently there was a problem, he's going to stay at my place, too.“

Anderson smiled mildly, so Jane decided that she liked him. For his age, he seemed like a straight forward man with a good sense of priority.

„I'm sure you'll do good“, he said gently, „they're not that different from us after all, just trust your instincts. If you find yourself having problems, you can always come and see me at my office, or call me anytime. For the duration of his event, I'll be stationed here in orbit to assist, should you need help.“

He called up his omni-tool and typed a few commands, then sent his coordinates over to Jane's own terminal, which glowed in return, acknowledging the influx of new data.

„Keep me updated“, he said, before nodding at her politely and vanishing back into the crowd, leisurely exchanging greetings with other guests. Jane sighed. At least there was someone who seemed to be honest with her. For some reason, she didn't have a good feeling about this whole thing.

 

* * *

 

The shuttle ride down to Zurich Spaceport was an icy one. Kieran was pretending to be looking at the scenery unfolding outside the porthole and didn't even try to start a conversation, while Jane caught herself shooting him discreet glances, because for some disturbing reason she found him very fascinating to look at, so sleek and predatory, a bit dangerous but in a civilized way. She decided she liked his fringe and the contrast between his white colony markings and the taupe colour of his plates. While Jane was happy that the apparent media ban D'Onofrio had talked about was working, she still felt uneasy being the one seen with the first turian setting foot on planet Earth, much more for having all that responsibility on her shoulders. What if these were going to be the most horrible two weeks of her life? What if she didn't succeed in D'Onofrios eyes? She had never been a very confident person, and now, she found her prospects of job security to dwindle by the minute.

At the spaceport, they were greeted by the Alliance team that had readied Kieran's field pack for his visit and had to endure one very official but awkward first photoshoot plus interview that most likely were going to be broadcasted all around the galaxy by tomorrow. Jane already disliked being the center of attention, feeling overwhelmed by the sudden unwanted interest in her person.

After another cab ride in total silence, they were unceremoniously dropped off at Jane's apartment as the sun was setting. She gestured Kieran closer, using her omni-tool to unlock the front door by swiping it over the touch panel fastened to the wall.

„Your own omni-tool should have been updated with all relevant admission information and my access codes, in case you want to go out by yourself, although Mr. D'Onofrio said I have to keep you close at all times. The apartment isn't much but it'll have to do“, she told him with a shrug as she typed her PIN into the keypad, shouldering the door open. Although the program had just started, in her mind she had already arrived at a point where she only wanted these two weeks to be over. She decided she'd plow through her assignment as expected and then write it off. The quicker she could return to her regular life, the better. She'd dreamt of adventures and leaving Earth ever since she was a small girl, but now that something out of the ordinary happened to her, she was terrified.

Kieran followed her up the stairs, hoisting his field pack and a second enormous crate and looking, to Jane's untrained eyes, a bit disgruntled- although by now she got the feeling this was his normal facial expression. Only when he stepped into the corridor and let his gaze wander over the myriad of travel posters hanging on the walls, his cool composure seemed to flicker for a moment.

„I'm really sorry“, Jane started as she noticed his uneasiness, „you were supposed to stay at a nice hostel nearby, but for some reason the reservation didn't get through. Mr. D'Onofrio thought you could sleep here during your stay. I hope the couch will be large enough for you. Please excuse the mess, I didn't expect-“

He interrupted her by lifting one of his three-fingered hands, then looked at her. „It'll do“, he answered with a curt incline of his head, and Jane noticed his voice carried a very intriguing flanging effect. „I am well aware that nobody wants me here, so I guess I should be grateful that you are taking your time for me.“

Jane was taken aback at first. She felt ashamed that he had figured everything out so quickly. His eyes bore right through hers, green through blue, a sensation so new and strange she had to look away.

„Sorry“, she muttered again, before walking into the kitchen in order to evade his scrutinizing gaze. She wasn't used to being looked at by a giant raptor ready to pounce.

„Lights on“, she commanded in the dark, got some water from the fridge and offered it to Kieran. „You're okay with water, right? I heard you brought your own food, so if you're hungry, we can fix something. I'll tell you how all the appliances work.“

Jane didn't cook for herself, so it didn't take them a lot of time to make space in a cupboard for the impressive amount of food rations he had brought along in that second crate. Jane wondered how much he was planning on eating, but maybe turians needed a higher caloric intake per day due to their metabolism, or it could have been a simple precaution to being on a planet based on levo-amino acids. All food looked military-grade and came individually packaged in small silver pouches with labels she couldn't read. It reminded her of the shakes she used to mix for herself after workouts that she usually purchased in bulk at the Alliance suppliers, then caught herself pondering if turians had an equivalent to the ubiquitous chocolate and vanilla flavours.

After stowing away all of his things and showing Kieran around the apartment (there wasn't very much to see anyway, it was a simple two-room accommodation with a small kitchen plus bath), they found themselves on the balcony facing the courtyard which was flanked by more old, slightly run-down buildings.

„Bit of a dump“, Kieran remarked. Jane was already furiously thinking about a tart answer to shoot back when he turned around, facing her. „Now, I'm sure it's none of your fault. After all, this set-up has been formally decided between our leading officers, we haven't chosen to be in this together. Though it was quite a surprise finding out I won't be as tightly supervised as the generals“, he admitted. „I was sure these two weeks were going to be a complete chore, but you seem nice enough, maybe you can convince me of the opposite.“

Jane relaxed slightly. It was the first thing he said to her that she didn‘t find unfriendly. Maybe this wasn‘t going to be that bad after all. She latched onto the shimmer of hope as if grabbing a raft.

„Yeah, I hoped I could show you around a little, give you an insight into our everyday lives here. Anything you’d like to do? And what do you work?“

Kieran scrunched up his nose, mandibles tucked close to his face, apparently thinking.

„Nothing in particular, I didn‘t spend much thought on it to be honest", he admitted. „Currently I'm still enlisted as communications officer, so I don’t have a lot of free time, but I'll be done in about two Earth years, when I'll move over to the reserves. I'm more of a history buff, not exactly the military kind... but I like exercising“, he added, hurriedly.

Jane nodded. She had read about their culture and hierarchy, so it surprised her to hear that not all of the turians were complete military crazies, and especially that one admitted it to an outsider so openly. However, she understood his remark about liking physical activities very well. She herself did enjoy the self-defence and wrestling trainings she had to complete every six months in order to stay certified as a security officer, so she was glad the Alliance had a well-equipped gymnasium nearby that they, as affiliates, were allowed to use 24/7. Seen that Jane was feeling lonely and restless pretty often, it did show in her trained physique- one of the few things she liked about herself.

„We could go work out if you want, maybe even wrestle“, she suggested spontaneously. While at first he did look at her sceptically, he inclined his head after a second of afterthoughts.

„That'd be nice“, he said, then continued looking out over the house walls.

 


	3. Opening up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the first few days, Jane and Kieran start getting acquainted and find out how well they complement each other.

Apart from Kieran's complaints that he had to sleep curled up on the side because the couch was a tad short for him and not adapted to turian physiology, the week went over without too many incidents or embarrassments. Relieved that D'Onofrio had provided her with a set schedule for the first seven days, Jane took Kieran out to the town, on trips to nearby cities and on daily errants and sent regular updates to her supervisor to keep him informed. From time to time, Takeya dropped in to check if everything was in order, and once even brought along flowers for Jane. Kieran found it amusing. Every three days, both sat through the mandatory interviews with polite calm, as was expected of them. They even got used to the very discreet bodyguards hovering around during daytime.

Jane started warming up to Kieran after the first few days, the awkwardness of being with someone so foreign had started fading by then. After he had gotten used to being alone without his superiors, he turned out to be surprisingly easy to get along with. Apart from misunderstandings that stemmed from their different body language and cultural upbringing, he wasn't that different from humans her age. He had finally started opening up, too, showing a much more pensive and vulnerable side of himself, even telling her about the origins of his facial markings, which Jane found incredibly fascinating. But he dismissed her interest in them with a huff, stating he didn't like them because it wasn't easy being born in the same colony the famous Victus family hailed from without being compared to them all the time. It took quite some more gentle inquiring on Jane's part until he admitted his parents were worried about him not being a role-model turian since he didn't want to continue a military career. Apparently they were very traditionalist and not exactly thrilled about his plans of dropping out and studying civil history instead. Kieran made it clear he was concerned about falling short of their high expectations and those his markings entailed, and Jane appreciated his candor. It made him feel like more than just a millstone around her neck.

To her surprise, she felt as if they had already known each other for years. She couldn't exactly pinpoint why, but despite them having met under rather forced circumstances a mere week ago, they went together very well, staying up late into the night talking after returning home from their daytrips, telling each other stories of their homeworlds. Foremost, Jane liked being in Kieran's presence because she felt some of his natural calmness rub off onto her restless self. He had a fresh new outlook on everything, which helped soothe her feelings of melancholy. She realized this one night while they were negotiating the small kitchen making dinner side by side, occasionally bumping into each other while chopping veggies or stir-frying. She seldom cooked for herself because she didn’t feel up for the task most of the time, sustaining herself on multimineral protein shakes that contained all important nutrients. But Kieran encouraged her about cooking dinner together, and he turned out to be a good assistant, so it was much less of a chore together with him. To Jane’s surprise, she really enjoyed their shared mealtime preparations, marvelling at how easily he had changed her point of view. She even found herself a bit disappointed about the fact that he couldn't show her how to make turian meals- all of his pre-packaged rations were freeze-dried things that only had to be rehydrated. Very similar to the Alliance stuff, she found.

 

* * *

 

While Kieran couldn't read them, he took great interest in Jane's books and displayed a particular fascination towards the travel posters plastered against nearly every surface of the apartment. Every morning when she got up, she found him already awake, studying them.

„Where's that?“ he asked one evening, jerking a thumb at a pastel-coloured picture promoting Hawai'i as 'Holiday Isles of the Pacific'.

They had just returned from a workout session at the gym, tired but satisfied, and both were holding their respective recovery shake in hand. Jane took a swig. Swirling her bottle, she explained.

„That's the place I would like to visit most“, she simply said.

Kieran looked at her critically with his usual solemn stare. „You have the possibility of visiting hundreds of worlds in the whole galaxy, but you prefer to stay on this planet?“

Jane nodded. „I've always dreamt of far away planets as a child. But I had to admit to myself I'll never be someone special“, she said with a shrug. „Hawai'i is my imaginary paradise where everything is still all right. It's a small island chain in the Pacific Ocean. Part of it has been flooded due to global warming in the 21st century, but it's the closest to paradise that I can think of. Beaches, forests, almost intact wildlife. I've never been there." She motioned around her. "You might have noticed, I'm not the richest person, never will be. Some of us can fly around in space as they please, see other worlds, but I don't think I ever will. The Citadel's on my bucket list, though, it must be marvellous.“

She sighed, blinking away a few tears that had started welling up. This often happened when she tried wording her feelings or her situation, so she preferred avoiding these talks.

„I don’t really know where I stand, or what I want“, she finally admitted. „One day drags on into the other, most of the time I feel incredibly low, as if there was nothing worth fighting for. It's boring, yet I fear change. I often think about going to Hawai’i. It‘s like, if I manage to go there, my life will change and everything will magically turn out great. Maybe it's just this idealized image of Hawai'i that keeps me going“, she finally said with a sad little smile, turning away from him.

She had never openly admitted she was lacking any sort of ambition or dream, and felt embarrassed about telling someone, especially someone she barely knew. Not even to her own parents had she ever confessed that she hoped to escape from her everyday life. Instead, she was carefully keeping up the image of being happy and proud of what she did because she didn't want to upset them.

It was Kieran's time to sigh. „In this case, I hope you will one day have the possibility to go there“, he simply said, and to Jane's suprise, she felt his hand come to a light rest on her shoulder, talons gently digging into the fabric of her shirt. As he squeezed down, it wasn't an unpleasant feeling at all.

„Don’t feel bad. We all need something we can believe in, so if this place called Hawai'i has a spirit and gives you the strength you need to carry on, so be it.“

Jane exhaled, finding the courage to lift her hand, touching Kieran's in return.

„Thanks“, she said, keeping their connection, relieved at his kind words but astonished he made physical contact in the first place. His intimate move had made a strange feeling of warmth bloom inside her chest, and she was pretty sure it wasn't because she had been working out.

 

* * *

 

On day ten, Jane decided to go run some errands alone in the evening in order to get some fresh air after their obligatory interview was finished. On the way, Takeya had texted her too, just a short message saying 'how about coffee when the whole turmoil is through?', and Jane wasn't sure about how to answer it. She hoped getting groceries might help settle her thoughts. But it had been a very hot day again, and she was feeling the strain. When she complained about the heat to Kieran, he had teased her about it playfully, stating that turians had no problems at all with the warm climate, and that she‘d hate going to Palaven if the summery weather on Earth got to her so easily.

Back home, she found Kieran on the balcony, looking out into the distance, the way he had done on their first evening together. To Jane's surprise, he had produced a flask of liquor from his field pack and was kicking back on one of the lawn chairs nonchalantly, propping his naked, taloned feet up on the railing. It was a strange yet somehow endearing sight, seeing him so at ease in her territory. Jane grabbed her half-full bottle of whiskey and went to join him.

„So,  how did you get chosen for this program?“ she asked after a few minutes of peaceful, silent side-by-side drinking, during which she felt as if the whole universe was in synch with them.

Kieran inhaled, following a shuttle departing for orbit with his eyes.

„I was asked to partake by my superior officers involved in the peace-keeping treaties right after Relay 314 Incident happened. When it became apparent our races were going to have to cooperate and work by Citadel rules, they were approached by the Alliance with the idea of an interplanetary exchange. Someone must have thought that I was cut out for this."

He took a sip from his bottle, scrunching up his nose while contemplating. Jane chuckled to herself at the sight, she liked that little involuntary quirk of his and found it strangely adorable.

"As I'm not exactly the type to pursue a military career, maybe they imagined I was harmless enough so you earthlings wouldn't feel threatened. Maybe they wanted me out of the way.“

Jane nodded. „Yeah. My boss said that since I was likeable and good at showing people around, I would be the perfect candidate... I realize it's a bit insulting.“

They looked at each other, pondering their responses. Jane took another swig from her bottle, then spoke first, a smile on her lips. „Hey Kieran, does it only seem to me that we were chosen very randomly for something with such a huge symbolic value? You're the first turian on Earth, but you're not high up the ranks, I'm a lowly officer... Maybe it's got something to do with the fact neither of us lost any relatives during the First Contact War, but it still strikes me as odd!“

Kieran agreed, looking at her.

„I firmly believe my superiors found the whole idea of an exchange stupid and couldn't be bothered, so they sent boring old me as an insult to the Alliance. I overheard them complain during our journey here, and this kind of passive affront would fit them. Maybe it was the same with yours“, he mused. Then, raising his flask: „Let's see it this way- we're interplanetary pioneers, sowing the seeds, first of our kind!“

Jane looked at him from the side with amusement, feeling a deeper sort of connection establish itself between them as they clinked bottles.

„Kieran, either you have a fever, or you're drunk. Sowing the seeds? That's the first funny thing you said since we met!“ 

„Maybe both“, came the smug answer. And after a second of thought: „Do you have a plan for tonight? Screw our guidelines, I feel like going out. Let's see what night clubs on Earth are like. Any good place around here?“

Jane grinned, assisted by the whiskey. „Clubbing? You bet on it...“

 


	4. Clubbing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Against their orders, Jane and Kieran decide to go clubbing. Jane realizes the feelings she developed for Kieran and has to find out the hard way that not everyone is happy about turians visiting Earth.

The Cave was a regular club, renowned for playing hard electronic music, that Jane knew well. It was not too far away from her house, so she could walk home even after public transport had slowed down for the night. Thanks to its excellently stocked bar, it was often frequented by Alliance staff on shore leave, which meant a mixed crowd and something going on pretty much every evening.

Jane decided to dress up for this occasion since she hadn't been out dancing in a long time. Her irregular work shifts made it difficult to maintain frequent meet-ups with friends, but clubbing alone was not much fun. She chose a short dress cut in the latest fashion that left her toned shoulders bare and had accentuated her rare blue eyes with some dark, glittery eyeshadow. Kieran, always the practical type, was sporting the turian equivalent to cargo shorts and combat boots, but had exchanged the standard-issue Hierarchy shirt with something bright yellow which was more tightly fitting, emphasizing the curve of his carapace as well as the pronounced v-shape of his broad shoulders and slender waist. The shirt left most of his arms bare, showing off the pattern of plates that trailed down to his hands. It made him look rather fetching and athletic, at least to Jane who had by now gotten used to seeing his alien form every day, although she assumed that at his impressive 6'7" he was going to stand out in the club like a beacon anyway.

She led him out the back door and hurried over the asphalted courtyard, Kieran following her like a shadow. They crept along the parapet, glad that none of the bodyguards hovering around them during the daytime were here, then stepped out into the street lights, free to go.

„This is exciting, like breaking curfew when you're fifteen“, Jane said laughing when they were on their way down the street. Being a weekday, there were not too many people out this late at night. Jane was thankful for that. While she found the daily surveillance annoying, she now suddenly felt naked, unable to protect Kieran in case someone decided to confront them. She remembered D'Onofrio telling her not to go out without supervision by bodyguards, especially not without consulting with him first, but she was fed up with the restrictions and a little drunk, so she didn't care.

Luckily, they made it to the Cave without a lot of attention, except for a few people stopping mid-stride as they walked by, some of them stealthily taking pictures or recording vids. Jane glanced at Kieran, afraid that he might get offended at the blatant interest, but he held his head high, radiating his usual stoic calm.

As they opened the doors to the club, moist heat and muted bass washed over them. Clubbing hadn't changed too much over the decades. Jane paid at the entrance with a touch of her omni-tool, using the funds she had received for this program, secretly feeling guilty about the Alliance paying for them enjoying themselves. The crowd moved out of the way as they weaved through the forest of bodies, organic warmth and booming music, everyone stopping in their tracks staring at them. Jane felt Kieran tense up behind her, but she herself lead the way trying to radiate self-confidence, as if going out dancing with a turian in tow was the most natural thing on Earth. With relief, she noticed there were a few asari and even two salarians among the visitors. It made her feel better that Kieran wasn't the only non-human in here. They found a small vacant table in a corner and sat down. Jane decided to get the first round, going for a Vodka Tonic. She ordered plain water for Kieran as she wasn't sure about turians digesting human alcohol.

Two drinks and some playful banter later, she started feeling carefree. The other guests had by now finally stopped staring, so she felt safe enough for the next stage.

„Come on, it'll be fun!“ she yelled at Kieran over the thumping bass. „First you suggest we go dancing, and then you bail out? What kind of courageous turian are you!“

With these words, she grabbed his arm and started dragging him towards the dance floor enthusiastically. Kieran resisted a bit at first, but was finally persuaded. They ended up in the middle of a group of sweaty young dancers who apparenly were really hyped about the fact that they were getting close to the first turian on Earth- former enemy or not. At their positive reaction, Jane nudged Kieran, motioning him to move.

„Look at them, they're so excited you're here“, she yelled at him over their cheers.

She had always liked clubbing, noticing the surge of happiness rushing through her body right now as she was carried away, and was wondering to herself why she didn't go out more often. Swaying side to side, she started losing herself in the music, one with her own pulse, the sweating crowd, the strobing lights. After such long time, dancing felt amazing.

The dance floor being so packed, she ended up getting pushed closer and closer to Kieran, close enough to feel the warmth radiating from his body as he was giving his best staying in tune with the foreign beat. Jane wasn't sure if it was because of the music, the neon lights washing over them, or the drinks she had, but she was suddenly aware of how much she wanted to get closer to him, to touch him. At the edge of her mind, Takeya's message flashed up, but she dismissed it. Jane couldn't exactly understand what these feelings of attraction meant, only that this peculiar mood she was in had started a few days ago, as a very light fascination at first. She hadn't paid it too much attention then, believing it was the novelty of the situation of being close to a turian for the first time. But now, to her surprise, her body ached for him in a very explicit way that disturbed her. The lights reflecting on his fringe, he looked so streamlined and heated, his muscles were moving smoothly under his plated skin, all she wanted to do was to hold him, taste him, and trail her fingers all over his body in exploration. She imagined his reaction if she were to make the first move, how he would flinch a little, then look at her in his predatory way before wrapping his strong arms around her, pulling her close...

Kieran tore her out of her daydream.

„Want another drink?“ he yelled over the music. Jane nodded, sweaty and very embarrassed about her rather graphic reveries.

„Cuba Libre“, she yelled back, but when Kieran only stared at her without understanding, she assumed that his translator didn't know about human cocktails, so she tried again and, very sensibly, ordered a water.

As he vanished into the crowd heading for the bar, she looked at the incredibly smooth curve of his back, getting lost in her thoughts again ( _how exactly would I be kissing him? Is that even anatomically possible with his mouth plates?_ ) when somebody wordlessly grabbed her by the elbow and dragged her behind the curtain into the deserted shadowy sidewing of the club. Before she could react in her tipsy state, someone had stepped up behind her, holding her wrists in a tight grip.

Habit and training kicked in through the alcohol-induced haze. _Deescalate, keep calm, wait for the right moment to free yourself_.

„What do you want?“ Jane demanded with a firm voice, stretching her chin upwards. Her eyes became accustomed to the gloom and she recognized the familiar cut of Alliance Navy service uniforms. _What the hell_...

There were three of them, all seemingly in different stages of intoxication but unfortunately still in possession of most of their wits and strength. Their leader, she assumed, towered over her with a mean grin on his face while his two sidekicks were holding Jane's wrists, pinning her to the wall.

„So you're the one showing that alien scum around, charming to meet you“, he started. Jane already disliked the direction this conversation was going.

„I've seen you on the vids. I'm enjoying shore leave at home with my pals, and in you come prancing right into my arms!“ - „Thanks for the flowers, now please let me go. We're on a peacekeeping programme, we don't mean no harm to anybody.“

He laughed. „Peace? No harm? You let that alien swagger around on humanity's birthplace as if it was nothing! It's disgusting. We should have bombed them all to hell while we had the chance!“

When one of her offenders shifted his weight, Jane seized the opportunity, wrenching one of her wrists free and swinging at the man in front of her, but tipsy and without enough time to aim properly, her blow only grazed his chin. He snarled as he evaded Jane's punch, lodging his hand in her hair, jerking her head backwards. Her mind racing, she winced from the pain as her hands were yanked back with even more force than before.

„Pathetic“, he continued as if nothing had happened, only inches from her face. His breath, tinted with alcohol, washed over her. „You're acting all flirty and obscene towards that alien bastard. Don't deny it, I saw you. Do you like being his whore? That what turns you on, you sick freak?“

A growl originated somewhere in the darkness between the columns. It was the kind of sound that prehistoric man had learned to fear, the kind of sound that went right to your afterbrain. Kieran stepped out of the shadows as silently as a ghost, towering over the three inebriate servicemen.

„Get away from my mate“, he said in a cool, controlled voice, the distinct flanging effect more prominent than usual. The man in charge let go of Jane's hair, facing Kieran.

„And what do you want, _turian_?“ he asked, with distaste in his voice. „Piss off to where you came from, nobody wants you here. Our planet, our rules, our girls!“

This was supported by a cheer from his companions. Kieran bared his pointed teeth at them.

„Get. Away. From. My. Mate“, he said again, this time with barely controlled anger.

„Then what“, the leader prompted, „wanna fight the three of us? We defeated your fleet once. Think you can oppose the Alliance?“

He decided to do something very stupid, and tried shoving Kieran. The reaction came faster than Jane's senses could follow, sent the human flying back towards the wall where he slid to a halt on the floor in a crumpled heap. Kieran's body moved with a fluid precision that Jane wouldn't have thought possible, tackling the other two nearly effortlessly as they lunged at him, sending them to the ground with only a few well-planted blows.

Finally free, Jane managed to get out of her paralyzed state. She grabbed Kieran by his shirt.

„No time for explanations“, she hissed, „let's get out of here!“

She helped him drag all of the unconscious men into a dark corner, then left the club as quickly and innocently as they could.

Only back out on the street she dared breathe again, as the cool night breeze washed over them. She fervently hoped that nobody had noticed them involved in the brawl and that the sailors would feel ashamed enough about being steamrolled by their enemy that they wouldn't tell anyone.

„That was close“, she finally said. Then, after a moment of hesitation: „Thank you for saving me.“

He looked at her from the side solemnly, inclining his head slightly. „No problem. Idiots exist all over the galaxy.“

 

* * *

 

They made their way home on foot. Different feelings were bubbling up in Jane's stomach. Anger at other humans ganging up on one of their own, shame at her own incapability of handling the situation, about having endangered Kieran. Confusion about those very graphic sensual feelings towards him that had welled up while they had been dancing, that were still lingering on the edge of her mind. She was torn between incriminating the sailors to the Alliance and keeping the whole affair under wraps and dismissing it as a stupid drunken mishap. Holding back her tears, she stared at the ground, methodically setting one foot in front of the other. Kieran seemed to notice her inner turmoil and kept silent, but she observed him accidentally brushing against her way more often than usual while walking. She was pleasantly surprised about that, wondering if it meant that he was being protective of her. Not having him around anymore was going to be tough, she realized, in less than two weeks he had become an integral part of her life that she really enjoyed. He understood what she was going through, something nobody else had done up to now.

„Why did you call me your mate back there?“ Jane finally found the courage to ask, because she was spellbound by the implications that one word carried. Kieran tilted his head to the side, mandibles tucked close to his jaw in thought.

„It seemed like the right thing to say at the moment“, he finally admitted, looking ill at ease. „We stick together, watch each other’s backs.“ - „Hmm.“

She wasn't really satisfied with the answer, left with a nagging feeling that he had evaded her question. They fell silent again until they reached the apartment.

Jane couldn't drift off to sleep she was way too worked up. After an hour of tossing around, she got up with a sigh, slipped on her workout clothes, and silently left the apartment to go calm down at the gym. A few squats or lunges were hopefully going to do the trick.

Meanwhile, Kieran had been staring at the wall unable to sleep himself, curled up on the couch. The muted click of the door lock made him sit up and notice. He knew there was only one place she would go to at such a late hour, so he waited for a bit in order not to bother her too much, then set out after her into the dark streets.

 


	5. New ways of communication

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get heated at the gym when Jane realizes Kieran has deeper feelings for her, too...

The gym was deserted at this time of night. He found her working out in one of the corners, hooked up to an EMS machine, her skin glistening with sweat. She stopped mid-lunge when she felt him approach, slapping the escape key with more force than she had intended. Then she methodically disconnected all the electrodes, and wiping her flushed face with a towel, she turned around, facing his steady gaze.

„I should have been able to deal with them alone“, she pressed out between gritted teeth when he made no attempt to speak. „I know how to deescalate, we have been trained. I know how to incapacitate people. But I wasn't able to react at all. They were slandering us! Their words hurt so much, I froze! How pathetic is that?“

A few beads of sweat, mixed with angry tears, ran down her face.

„You did well“, Kieran finally said. „These situations exist so we can reflect ourselves. Grow better and stronger.“

Jane sighed as she sat down on the floor, suddenly exhausted, still tipsy, fed up with the whole masquerade.

„You are right of course... I'm feeling bad about showing you such a vulnerable side of me. I didn't intend to let you see how weak and scared I am. Can you keep a secret? D'Onofrio said I had to put on a show about how tough and level-headed we non-military humans all are, so you could wow everyone upon your return. And here I get my ass handed by three drunk Alliance servicemen who are supposed to be the archetypes of gallantry. Great way to go, me.“

Kieran looked at her from the side sternly, his arms crossed, mandibles twitching lightly.

„You know you don't have to impress me. For all your pink squashiness, you are as tough as they come. You have a good heart and sound principles, which is more important sometimes.“

This made Jane smile a little, so she got back to her feet.

„Thanks for the compliment, I guess“, she said, winking at him. Then she turned around, gesturing to the tatami mats lining the other half of the arena. A stupid idea had suddenly popped up in her head. „Wanna join for a little wrestling? Come on, we talked about this before, I really wanna try it. I'm still a bit drunk, and not done draining my batteries!“

It didn't take too long for Jane to realize that close-range wrestling with a turian was completely different from what she was used to in the periodic workshops she had to participate in during her job. Kieran was abnormally strong compared to her, plus being more than a foot taller, he was able to use way more leverage and range to his advantage. She tried making it up with speed, but was no match. Although she kept losing every round, she found herself enjoying it. The notion of being so close to someone from a completely different species was incredibly exciting. He was warmer to the touch than humans, he moved differently, uttered foreign sounds when she tackled him. The way his muscles shifted under the rougher plates covering most of his body allured her. It did feel strange touching him so closely, hard yet resilient, and very captivating. She realized that the physical fascination towards him that she had felt before was growing even stronger, but now she just went with it.

 _So much for inter-species communication_ , Jane thought, as they were rolling around on the floor grappling and swearing loudly in their respective native languages after he had tripped her up by hooking one of his leg spurs around her calf. Their universal translators already unable to pick up on all the dirty words, everything they uttered was reduced to shouts, growls, and occasional hissing. Finally, he pinned her down to the mat again, an air of smugness around him, his mandibles set at an angle that Jane interpreted as the turian equivalent of a smirk.

They stared at each other laughing, catching their breath, trying to figure out their opponent's next move. A sort of tangible electricity was building up in the air. It was then when Jane started to notice a flicker in Kieran's green eyes that made her pause. She lay there with her arms above her head, vibrating with adrenaline, studying his face, which she still found difficult to read. But then, it suddenly overcame her, in waves of hot and cold. She realized what his look really meant. _No way. Your mate, indeed_.

 

* * *

 

They went at each other like two hungry animals. Jane felt her excitement surge, like a dam breaking. In the heat of the moment, she threw her arms around him and locked her teeth on his neck, right underneath his mandible. He gave a growl of surprise at the unexpected attack, then bit back reflexively, making her burst out in a cry of pain. A few drops of blood ran down her shoulder, soaking her shirt. She looked up, met his shocked stare, but then the hesitation was gone, in the rhythm of her own thundering heart, the way his subvocal growl reverberated inside her. Jane felt as if taken by a feverish frenzy, that very peculiar fever that manifests itself in pure lust and keeps burning until body and mind are finally satisfied. The rational part of herself was wildly screaming at her to end this madness as she felt the unfamiliar curve of his sternum press down on her chest, but she knew it was already too late to stop. The adventurous side that she had been neglecting for so long was taking over, with a force she had never thought possible. All she wanted to do now was to seduce him, no matter what species he was, no matter what the rest of the universe was going to say.

It wasn't like the other times though. When she thought back about her past boyfriends, at some point she had always been able to run on autopilot ( _stroke here, squeeze there, that always gets them_...), but this was completely different. It was like blindly stumbling along an exotic but highly interesting terrain made up of supple leathery skin and harder plates, foreign shape, strange purrs and growls. He tasted different from humans, too, she noticed as she caught his tongue between her teeth when it flicked out for a split second. A little metallic, astringent yet sweet, it was surprisingly enticing, and she found herself wanting more of him. To her relief, she sensed hesitation on his side after that first violent eruption of pent-up feelings had quieted down. Drunk on excitement, unable to stop, she decided to nudge him into the right direction, tugging gently on his shirt with a questioning look in her eyes. Her own tanktop had already been ripped in a few places by his talons, so it didn't take much effort to shrug it off.

Half naked, they held each other at arm's length, taking in the unfamiliar sight of their very different bodies, still not talking. It did feel awkward, being studied by someone from another species so intently, someone who certainly wasn't keyed to the same mechanisms of arousal, but she could feel his agitation and her own body vibrating in response. Slowly, Jane held out a hand and cupped his cheek, scratching the surprisingly soft hide underneath his mandible. Purring lightly, he snuggled into the palm of her hand. This sweet reaction helped stoke her own curiosity. Not entirely sure about what she was supposed to do, she slid up to him, looping her legs around his narrow waist and planting a gentle kiss on the side of his mouth plates. His breath was hot and ragged against her face as he leaned down to press his forehead against hers, and she half expected him to break free and sink his teeth into her again, but all he did was close his eyes, as if savouring the moment.

„What now?“ Jane heard him whisper hoarsely after some time had passed.

She giggled and shrugged, full of some kind of childlike excitement. „There's no instructions manual on inter-species sex around here, so I guess we'll make it up as we go along?“

He looked down at her in his predatory way, which made her shiver with pleasant anticipation.

„This is going to be a very long and possibly very embarrassing night, but it's fine with me. No way I will stop now.“ His brow plates furrowed as he scooped her up in his arms and got to his feet without difficulty. „Let's go home. We still got energy to drain.“

 

* * *

 

Jane remembered that early morning vividly. Not how they managed to get back to her apartment at pre-dawn, she wasn't sure about it anymore, but the rest was very hot, and full of a sort of feral, primal passion she had never encountered before. This much insight she gained- turians seemed to be a lot more focused on ripping each other to shreds during intercourse. It took time for Kieran to break habit and understand that human skin was too delicate for overly rough play. Soon, Jane's skin was chafing and covered in claw marks, but she didn't care, she was soaring so high. She lost herself in a vortex of different sensations streaming over her, feeling, seeing his blueish tongue and those big, three-fingered hands wander up and down, but she noticed Kieran having similar difficulties sorting out his own emotions as she explored his body in the same fashion, eagerly but methodically, savouring every bit of this new world that had opened up to her. While they found out that their species-specific anatomy was quite different from each other, with patience and curiosity, they were able to make it work remarkably well.

Half an hour later, Jane called in sick, and Kieran managed to get them a cab to the Alliance's nearest medical permanency.

 

* * *

 

„Miss Bergen“, the doctor started gravely after they were ushered into the clinic. Jane looked at him with bloodshot eyes, wheezing softly.

„I hope you read the data you were given about amino acid incompatibility and possible anaphylactic shock.“

She managed a nod while shooting Kieran an imploring glance. He looked back at her, then at the doctor, with a carefully innocent facial expression.

„We accidentally swapped our protein shakes this morning. I'm fine apart from some bad nausea, but Jane took quite a mouthful before we noticed“, Kieran said calmly, only the slight nervous twitch of his mandibles betraying his confident manners. Jane fervently hoped the doctor wasn't accustomed to turian body language.

„We should have checked the labels more closely, but you know the military stuff: It comes in tiny pouches and all looks and tastes the same.“

The doctor shook his head. „Luckily your body didn't quite know what to make of it, so you got away with a simple allergic reaction this time. Make sure you keep your food preparations separate from now on. And you, Mr. Artaxias, you don't seem to apprehend the gravity of the situation!“

Kieran managed to look noncommitted.

„Also, Miss Bergen seems to have taken quite a beating, not even talking about that bite to her neck. Care to elaborate?“ His eyes bore right through Kieran, who backed off a little.

„Wrestling“, he uttered in a bashful way, „a friendly match to understand different training techniques. I got carried away, but please be assured, it was purely professional.“

The doctor shook his head again, giving a grunt of disapproval. „While exchange of cultural matters is certainly appreciated and encouraged, I must ask you to be more careful. Think about the upcoming interviews. Mr. D'Onofrio won't be too happy.“

He turned around to prepare the injections of immunosuppressants and antihistamines that would hopefully help settle Jane's allergic reactions within an hour.

She managed to lift a sweaty hand, lightly patting Kieran on the knee. „Smooth“, she whispered.

 


	6. An ill-omened call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane and Kieran receive a very strange phone call from Takeya and soon find themselves neck-deep in trouble.

 

When they were discharged from hospital, they first didn't dare look at each other, both feeling embarrassed.

„I'm sorry about the bite. It was supposed to be a nip... I forgot human skin was so delicate“, Kieran finally said, sitting on the edge of the bed where Jane was resting. She extended her hand, stroking his forearm, relieved he didn't withdraw after what had happened.

„No hard feelings“, she replied, still feeling weak. „The doc took care of it. I trust we're still good? After all the health risk info we've been bombarded with previously, we should have taken more care. Yet I'd say it's been worth it...“ - „Spirits, I found it very difficult to concentrate, having you in front of me. My mind was occupied with other things!“, he answered grumpily, but his body language was already reflecting the new intimacy that had formed between them. Everything had somehow boiled down to this moment, and it felt oddly right. Instinctively they both understood they had to keep their liaison a secret at all costs. Nobody was going to understand. Although Jane knew deep inside that they had to discuss the matter sooner or later, she couldn't bring herself to do it. There was no way their relation was going to end well, and even thinking about it hurt too much, so she kept quiet, holding on to the childish belief that everything would magically turn out right if she didn't try to deal with it.

Jane chuckled to herself. „Same here. Interplanetary pioneers sowing the seeds, indeed!“

This made Kieran look at her with amusement. „At least now I understand why our officers keep bugging us about always bringing contraceptives on travels. You can never be careful enough when going abroad.“

They spent the day at home in bed, watching recordings of old 20th century movies in between caresses, since Kieran had expressed his interest in historic topics. 'Star Wars' amused him immensely.

 

* * *

 

On day twelve, Jane was awakened at dawn by Kieran running his rough tongue up her neck from behind.

„Kieran, you're a beast“, she murmured with sleep in her voice, swatting at him half-heartedly as she felt one of his hands squeeze her thigh, then settled for reaching back in order to scratch his head underneath the fringe. She winced at moving her sore shoulder, where Kieran's bite had already started bruising purple underneath the bandage. Being with a non-human for the first time took a lot of getting used to. Sometimes, she felt at loss on what to do or how to interact with him. But all new relationships needed some adjustment time, and the species didn't matter that much in the end. After the first difficulties, she was rapidly getting used to it and had already memorized some of the spots he liked to be touched most.

He nuzzled into her hair. „I need to take advantage of this exotic beauty in front of me while I still can“, he chuckled, nestling up against her naked rear, his voice dropping seductively, „and I promise I'll be a well behaved turian from now on, seen that I won't be allowed to touch you in public.“

Jane groaned when she felt his pelvic plates shift.

„You're insatiable, you know that? With all the drugs the doctor pumped into me yesterday, I have a feeling I'll be immune to all of your fluids for a lifetime. But you're way too hot, get off!“- „No. I like it when you smell of me.“

As if to prove his point, Kieran snuggled up even closer, wrapping his long arms around her and playfully nipping at her nape with his sharp teeth, careful not to puncture her skin this time. Through her sleepiness, Jane gave in when she noticed the now familiar heat rise inside in response to his constant teasing. They hadn't been able to keep their hands off each other since yesterday. Jane was heavily feeling the sleep deprivation, cursing the turians for their shorter resting periods.

She rolled over to face him with a sparkle in her eyes, placing a small kiss on his mouth plates.

„Fine“, she replied, „a little morning fun won't hurt. But just once this time, we got a train to catch.“

Jane had planned an excursion to Paris, because she remembered herself thinking about it before meeting Kieran for the first time. She really wanted to have a picture of them both in front of the Eiffel Tower, as a reminder of their time together, of all the changes he had brought to her life. They decided to go although Kieran had told her he rather preferred staying at home enjoying her company in private during the last days left. Jane dreaded losing him. By now, she was feverishly thinking about ways she could either keep him here or find a job somewhere in the galaxy to be near him, whether anyone approved of their interspecies relationship or not. Not that she really wanted, or had the means, to leave Earth, but Kieran's presence was sucking her in like a black hole, urging her on to go explore the universe. With him, she felt alive, full of energy, the way she hadn't felt for a long time. He stirred feelings in her she never knew existed, feelings that went beyond the pure physical attraction.

They were still in bed enjoying each other when Jane's omni-tool beeped. Kieran was doing his best distracting her, but as the device kept ringing, she decided to take the call audio-only. It was Takeya.

„Hey T, need anything?“ Jane answered cheerfully out of her tousled bedsheets while trying to keep Kieran's errant paws off.

„Jane, is Kieran with you?“ Takeya sounded nervous. „I have a big favour of you to ask, please take the next shuttle and meet me up at the station, both of you. It's very important for the programme, come quickly, I'll explain everything when you get here!“

But when she opened her mouth to reply, the connection had already been interrupted.

„Change of plans“, she told Kieran with a hint of disappointment in her voice, softly tracing the plates on his bare chest with her fingers, „my friend Takeya needs us up in orbit as soon as possible. Typical of him... The way I know him, he's got some sort of publicity stunt planned we're both going to hate. Paris will have to wait until tomorrow. I'm sure D'Onofrio is behind all of this, I'm sick of his 'media campaigns'.“

The turian only nodded, accepting the new orders calmly, then they started looking for their clothes strewn all across the floor.

 

* * *

 

Takeya was waiting for them at the civilian shuttle's docking bay, his usual positivity overshadowed by an eerie nervousness that disturbed Jane.

„Let's go talk“, was all he said to them with a grim look on his face, while they were weaving through the arrivals. Silently, they followed him down a maze of service corridors into the bowels of the station. Only when Takeya had locked the door to a crammed storage room behind them, he relaxed a bit.

„Jane, please believe me, this is not a joke“, he began, tension in his voice. „There's no other way of saying this: You are both in grave danger. You know me, I'm nosy. I like to snoop around things that don't concern me. You've told me over and over again that I shouldn't but... I overheard D'Onofrio talking to someone yesterday while I was, ah, organizing my desk after-hours, and it was unmistakable, he wants your head. This programme is a fake. All he wants is a staged murder and having you as a martyr, a symbol for human superiority.“

Jane felt her pulse jump. She swallowed, her mouth dry.

„What was he planning?“ she whispered, dumbfounded.

Takeya shrugged helplessly. „I didn't catch everything. I preferred legging it before he noticed, but they wanted to make it look as if Kieran murdered you and have him shot shortly after.“

Disbelieving, Kieran growled, his mandibles flaring in anger. Instinctively, he extended an arm to hold Jane closer, hugging her to his chest.

„So we were just going to be played like pawns. Where are my officers, are they safe?“ he snarled.

Takeya held up his hands in a gesture of appeasement, suddenly looking very tired.

„They are fine. I gave Miller my authorization codes and their coordinates, he's going for them as we speak. He's got access to the corvette he's training on. Docking bay L34. D‘Onofrio‘s a real big fish, I don’t think the Alliance will believe my story. We‘ll have to do this by ourselves. I promise, Miller and me, we will get you all out, to the Citadel. The corvette's a small ship, but it can carry us to the turian frigate at a good speed. Once we reach the relay and get out of Sol system, we'll be safe, but we must hurry, before anyone notices.“

Kieran nodded, his tactical training prevailing the hatred bubbling up in him.

„Let's go“, he simply said. Jane still held his hand from behind anxiously, feeling her life crumble away.

 


	7. The escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane and Kieran find out the truth about their program and try escaping to the docking bay

They stepped through the door and found themselves looking right into the barrel of an automated pistol. D'Onofrio was sporting his ordinary cold smile.

„Mr. Takeya“, he began, calmly ushering the three back into the empty office, „I knew you were up to something, so I kept you under surveillance. I should have shot you way before. You're a nuisance, a disgrace to humankind.“

And with that he simply pulled the trigger, shooting Takeya straight in the head. The impact sent the young man's body flying backwards in a spray of blood and brain matter. Jane cried out in shock. She felt Kieran tense like a coiled spring, squeezed his hand. _Deescalate_ , she thought, repeated it, like a mantra, trying to keep herself from freaking out. _Keep calm. Wait for the opportune moment_.

D'Onofrio motioned them to kneel down at the opposite wall, seating himself in a discarded office chair in front of them.

„Miss Bergen, I fear your little romp will come to an end now“, he said. „I wanted to stage this more dramatically right before the big closure ceremony, but it seems we'll have to wrap this up quickly.“

„Why?“ was all that she could say, unable to avert her eyes from Takeya's motionless body sprawled near the entrance in a pool of blood and fluids. Her body shook, her breath came in short, shallow gasps. So this was what mortal fear felt like, utterly terrifying. "Mr. D'Onofrio, please, let us go. Let's talk. We didn't do anything wrong."

D'Onofrio laughed, watching her with a sort of fatherly tenderness.

„Miss Bergen, it's not you. It's _them_. Humanity has the chance of becoming the strongest force in the Milky Way, we have to assert it right now, lest we be absorbed into the bog of galactic politics by receiving an embassy on the Citadel. If the rest of the galaxy finds out the first turian on Earth killed his custodian, you being a pretty girl and all that, it will stir up quite a few waves.“

Suddenly, Jane understood why the whole program had looked so dodgy, why D'Onofrio had been so adamant about a strict media ban, the staged interviews, and why he had chosen her specifically. It had been set up as a trap from the beginning, a way to steer political intents. Considering his position of power, he was able to control every news snippet that was going out to the galaxy about this project, absolutely free to do anything he pleased. Bending the truth would be no problem whatsoever. She felt dread squeeze down on her chest, tears blurred her vision. Her nose ran, made breathing difficult.

"Please", was all she managed to say, over and over again, as if repeating something often enough was going to change reality.

D'Onofrio started walking up and down the empty part of the room, like a tiger prowling.

"Beg as much as you want, Miss Bergen, it's all been planned out."

He took a few steps towards them, waving the gun at Jane as he spoke, unheeding of her stammering, the tears streaming down her face. Distaste shone through in his voice.

"Just so you know; I had the good sense of having your place bugged. Miss Bergen, I'm appalled and disgusted. I would have never taken you for one of those fucked-up xenophiles. You're a traitor to our upright human values, I won't be sorry at all for eliminating both of you freaks."

His omni-tool beeped right when he was pacing around in front of them, and this short moment of inattention was enough. Motionless up to now, Kieran lashed out at D'Onofrio, kicking him in the kneecap, causing the older man to lose his pistol. The weapon sled into the jumble of discarded office material littering one side of the room. Then, through the tears blurring her vision, Jane felt Kieran grab her hand, and they were out, running. The last thing they heard was D'Onofrio screaming for support on his omni-tool.

 

* * *

 

They careened through the hallways in a desperate attempt to outrun whoever was on their heels, but Jane knew that D'Onofrio was going to charge the best of the best with this hunt, and that their chances of escaping were abysmally low. She was relieved she knew the station so well from her work, or they would have surely lost their way. They raced through the arrival hall, dodging what felt like a myriad of surprised passengers, thankful for the temporary safety other humans represented. D'Onofrio wouldn't shoot them here, in plain sight, she knew, but going out to the less frequented training docks was going to be more dangerous. Jane's thoughts were chasing around in her head. _What to do, what to do_... then it suddenly hit her.

She rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand, then tapped her omni-tool, opened a channel to send a vid message to Anderson's number.

„Anderson, D'Onofrio wants us dead! We're hauling the turians out on a corvette, we need assistance. Docking bay L34, fast!“, she panted while running, holding the device up to her lips. She didn't bother about turning the transmission off, kept the channel open, not knowing if it was going to be enough to save them.

After what seemed like an eternity, they reached Miller's docking bay. The pilot was already waiting at the outer airlock, a pistol in hand, prepared to assist them with cover fire.

„I have the others here, move your asses! Enemy incoming!“ he yelled at them, sending a first barrage past them down the hallway.

Kieran bounded through the airlock towards the safety of the revved-up corvette, but Jane had fallen behind, still weakened by her severe lack of sleep and the immunosuppressant drugs the doctor had given her. The second she reached the corner, she heard their pursuers opening fire on them. A volley of accelerated slugs from an assault rifle tore through her right thigh, reducing skin and flesh to a frayed mass. Screaming in pain, she fell sprawled in front of the airlock. Blood pooled around her.

Miller saw Kieran hesitate.

„Artaxias, to me! There's no time!“

He darted forward, blindly sending a few rounds around the corner, then grabbed the turian by the collar of his fatigues in an attempt of dragging him towards the spaceship. But Kieran shrugged off the pilot's grip without much difficulty. He looked back to where Jane had fallen, so close to the door.

„I will not leave you here, Jane“, he growled as he crouched down next to her, hesitating when he realized the extent of her injury. For the first time since she knew him, Jane thought she could sense fear in his voice. Pain seared through her. Her heart was overflowing. She opened her mouth to speak, but the next volley from their pursuers impacted on the wall by her, showering her and Kieran with hot splinters.

In that split second, Jane made up her mind, even though it hurt. She knew everything would be lost if their enemies were to capture both her and Kieran.

„ _Just go!_ “ she screamed at him through a river of tears and snot, half deaf from the sound of blood rushing in her ears. With a last effort of inhuman strength, she got to her knees, then pushed Kieran away from herself through the door, hitting the interface panel with the other hand at the same time. The airlock came down like a sledgehammer, severing her arm right above the elbow. Full of adrenaline, Jane didn't even really notice the sensation of ripping flesh and mashed bones.

 _Funny_ , she thought in her red daze, _dying a hero isn't as difficult as I would have imagined_.

Then, the world switched off.

 


	8. Reunited

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few years after the horrible day that changed her life, Jane still can't get to terms with what happened. But when Anderson comes to see her, bringing along a very well-known guest from her past, everything starts coming back...

It was late afternoon, and waves were gently lapping at the beach cradled into the steep mountain range. Paddlers and surfers wallowed languorously in the water, waiting for the breeze to pick up. Most of the visitors were human, but there was a group of young-looking asari backpackers enjoying the pacific warmth stretched out on their towels with all their gear stacked up beside them. They were dressed in colourful swimsuits that complemented their slender blue skinned bodies perfectly.

Dean, the cook, was the first one who heard the faint sound of turbines over the wind.

„Guess that's for you, Boss!“ he yelled back into the dining room where Jane was busy catering for a few of her guests. She stepped out of the house into the glare of the sun bare-footed, dressed in comfortable cargo shorts, absent-mindedly wiping her hands on a tea towel. The bright light made her squint and reflected on the matte gunmetal carbon shell of her prosthetic arm and leg. She settled on the porch with a frown, waiting for the shuttle to land in a safe distance to the beach. Her scepticism only disappeared when the landing ramp was extended, revealing the figure of Lieutenant Anderson striding towards her in his usual confident gait.

She broke into a smile as she recognized her unexpected visitor.

„Mr. Anderson, so good to see you. How have you been? Congratulations on your promotion to the Citadel, it's been all over the news!“ The words just bubbled out of her.

Smiling warmly, he shook her artificial hand in a steady grip. „Good to see you too, Jane. It seems you've worked yourself out very well in these five years. Lovely location“, he added appraisingly, after a quick look around.

Jane offered him a seat on the porch and motioned Dean to bring over some refreshments.

„So what brings you here?“ she asked after they had settled down on the steps. He suddenly looked a bit unasy, which made her wonder.

„To be honest“, he began, „I'm on my way to Honolulu for a quick talk to the local authorities, construction of a new spaceport. They wanted me to advise on Alliance matters. So I thought I'd drop in on the way to see how you were doing yourself. You look good.“

Jane understood he was trying to make her feel better. But she knew very well she had put on weight, and that she looked her age. The whole ordeal had left her with quite a few deep lines etched into her face. She gave a bitter laugh, and absent-mindedly scratched the faded scars on her right thigh where skin met carbon.

„It's been hard, but you know how it is. Accept your fate and make the best of it."

As if trying to prove her point, she wiggled her toes with only a barely audible hum from the servos.

„I could have had more natural looking ones, ones I wouldn't feel, but I'd rather be reminded of them when I wake up. I decided to leave all I knew behind, yet I needed something to remind me. Maybe that won’t make sense“, she added with a shrug.

Anderson nodded. „I understand“, he said mildly, then sighed. „It's been nice catching up and seeing you're doing good. I have to apologize. I should have come by way earlier, but after the trials I wasn't sure if you were ready to see me again, then I got very busy. Somehow it was never the right time. I kept track of you, though.“

He got up, buttoning his uniform jacket.

„I'm off to my meeting, but there is one more thing I have to do. I was asked to be a middle man by a good old friend of ours. He might be able to help you on your quest of processing the past.“

And with that, he called up his omni-tool, typing a command. It didn't take Jane long to realize what Anderson was implying. Shivers running through her, she felt thrown back to that nightmarish day five years ago, when all had suddenly seemed lost.

Petrified, she stood there as Kieran stepped down the shuttle ramp. The light of the setting sun reflected on the metallic plates of his face and his fringe, the cream white of his colony markings shining like gold.

Anderson silently made to leave, nodding both to Jane and to her turian guest.

„Mr. Artaxias, I'll pick you up tomorrow morning, as we agreed. Jane, it's been lovely seeing you. My offer still stands. You know you can always contact me if you need anything, I'll be there to help. It's the least I can do. I hope you two will be able to work this out.“

* * *

 

„Hey.“

„Hey.“

They stood looking at each other while the gust of the shuttle's lift-off washed over them. Eventually, they started walking down the beach side by side while the sun was setting lower, bathing the palm trees, the sand and the water in glittering hues of orange and pink. Some of the visitors were packing up for the evening, ready to go home, but the group of asari were still there. Most likely they were staying outdoors camping on the beach under the stars tonight, before continuing their trip to who knew where. Jane nodded at them politely when she felt their questioning gaze on herself and Kieran as they were walking past. For a few minutes, they trudged through the surf side by side, with the waves, the wind, and the crunch of their naked feet in the wet sand the only sounds.

„Nice place you got here“, Kieran finally broke the silence, „looks like you were able to find your paradise after all.“

„Thanks“, she replied with a weak, sad smile, remembering the conversation they had such long time ago. Seeing Kieran here, alive and sound, had been all she had wished for in the past years, but ultimately the hope had been abandoned. It felt strange, having him close again, somehow unreal.

“How did you get out?” His voice was gentle, distress echoed in his subvocals. Hesitant at first, she started recounting her story. There was a lot to catch up.

„Anderson got my call in time and managed to reach me before anything bad happened. I was barely alive. Then the medical teams started patching me up, and after a few months the trials began..."

Her shoulders trembled a little as she talked about the trauma, but she quickly straightened herself, trying not to show too much weakness. It was a habit that was difficult to break.

"I was kept in coma when they started. I can't count how many hearings I had to endure after they woke me up, but I kept our secret safe. After more than a year, when authorities finally managed to cut through all the crap D'Onofrio and his lackeys had been cooking up, the acquittance money I got was more than enough to pay for this“, she said, flourishing her synthetic arm in front of him. She had noticed his furtive glances, the look of sheer guilt on his face the moment he’d seen her prosthetics, as if he believed it was his fault.

„I realized Alliance intel had D'Onofrio on their radar for quite some time but had never found enough incriminating evidence against him until we came along. I can't get to terms with the fact they knew exactly he was up to something and let him go through with the whole farce, hoping they'd find a good reason to nail him! We were used as bait so casually, as if our lives didn't matter...“

Her voice trailed off when the bitterness came back. She gazed out over the water with a weary look on her face, battling all the feelings she had kept bottled up over the years.

„I was a total wreck, physically and mentally", she resumed in the end when Kieran made no attempt to speak. „I had to see one of my best friends die, and another being dishonorably discharged. After months spent in rehab I couldn't take it anymore, the questions, the looks, the pity, so I quit. Still had enough credits on the side, parents and friends said they'd help me out at first, I thought, why not start anew? A small guesthouse on the beach, out of everyone's harm. It's my way of coping with all the horrible things that happened."

When the feelings overwhelmed her again, her voice wavered, and she looked back at him, tracing the familiar white lines of his colony markings with her eyes, a way of anchoring herself. It was hard, having him here yet not knowing where they stood. Time had passed, and Jane suddenly felt lost again, about her place in the universe, her feelings. But even now, she didn‘t dare address her worries, too fearful of what they might entail.

"Business has been quite good these last two years“, she finally stated. „I hope I can attract more interstellar guests soon, backpacker trips to other planets seem to be quite fashionable at the moment. One day I will take some time off in order to visit the Citadel, it's still on my bucket list. And who knows, maybe I can hire a turian cook, to cater to Dextro needs?“

Kieran's mandibles twitched a bit, and Jane thought she recognized his way of showing amusement.

„Sounds like a good plan“, he said, softly, then fell silent.

Jane felt the lightyears separating them, more than ever.

„You can stay the night here, of course, although I can't offer you dinner“, she said quickly, filling the gap. „I do have a nice room with ocean view vacant, which you are free to use. The bed should be long enough for you, too.“

He gave a small laugh.

„As long as it's better than the horrible couch in your old place, I'm fine with everything. And you should know by now that I always bring my own food.“


	9. Past and Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, Jane and Kieran manage to talk about everything that happened, but realize that much has changed in the meantime...

After a quick dinner and a last check on her other guests, Jane left Dean to clean up for the night, excusing herself to her room. All the shallow smalltalk they exchanged had exhausted her. For some reason, she thought it would have hurt more to see Kieran again, but all she felt was a sort of numbness, an inability to reach out to him. He had been very reserved, so she hadn't dared question him about his whereabouts, for fear of trespassing personal boundaries. They had both trespassed more than one boundary five years ago, she remembered that very well. In body and mind, she ached for a bit of the old Kieran to show, but it hadn't. She didn't exactly know if that was a good or a bad sign, so she decided to go to bed instead and get on with her own life after he had gone. But sleep didn't find her. She dressed again and sat for quite some time gazing at the familiar stars above her, when she heard a soft knock on the door. She exhaled. _Finally_.

Kieran looked uneasy as he entered the room, reminding her of the first time he had seen her old apartment. He was wearing a pair of casual shorts and a flowing, draped shirt that emphasized his tapered waist and the jut of his hips. Seeing him like this, Jane was painfully aware of how much she had missed him. To her, he still looked the same, though she had detected a new weariness in his demeanor. She motioned him to sit on the bed, then sat down next to him.

„I'm sorry I haven't been more talkative today“, he began, „but it's been very difficult. After my narrow escape, for the first few weeks I believed you were dead. I didn't dare ask for news of you, there was so much anti-human resentment I decided to keep quiet. Only when the trials started, I recognized you on the media vids. That made me question myself and my honour, for not staying and fighting, for not saving you.“ 

Jane shook her head. „Kieran, it wasn't your fault! My femoral artery was perforated, I'd have died if you had tried taking me on that corvette! There‘s only so much Medigel can do. If you hadn't gotten out, things would have ended very badly. For peace in the whole galaxy, maybe. It had to be this way, even if it hurt.“

He nodded curtly. „I know. Yet I struggle to accept. I'm sorry it took me so long to muster the courage to come see you. I should have contacted you way before, but I was scared. Much has happened meanwhile. I can understand if you don't want to think about the time we spent together, it's been a dark one.“

Jane looked at him, then brought herself to touch his forearm with her fingertips very briefly. The neural feedback in her prosthetic wasn't very good, but he still felt the same, tough and warm. By gods had she missed him...

„I do remember“, she said with more force in her voice than she had intended, „all the bad things. The good things. And... exciting things.“

She cast her eyes down when she felt herself blush at the memories. „I will not forget about that, it's been nice.“

Kieran exhaled, as if a weight had been taken from his shoulders.

„There's something else I have to tell you“, he started, absent-mindedly flexing his fingers. His voice was low and controlled.

„I couldn't fulfil my own dream. I never had a shot at becoming someone in the Hierarchy, no matter how much my parents wanted me to. The whole fiasco made my chances even smaller. My superiors thought I should have performed better. However, the trials for D'Onofrio and his henchmen were broadcasted all over the news and I told the whole story to our own task group, so ultimately it was decided it hadn't been my fault. But I felt like a failure myself, I didn't want to go back and face everyone. Made an application with C-Sec as soon as my active service ran out. They hired me. Made my family proud, too, having their offspring working on the Citadel.“

His voice dropped down some more. He was gazing towards the rug, as if to avoid Jane's judgement of what was to follow.

„I have a mate“, he said softly, after a moment of silence. „We have a son. He was born two months ago.“

A small sound, somewhere between a bitter laugh and a sob, emerged from Jane's throat. She shook her head, not daring to look at him, for fear of crying.

„Did you decide to come this far to tell me that?", she said more heatedly than she had wanted. "I'm happy everything worked out so well for you. Looks like you're living the good life now. Sorry my own story isn't as exciting.“

Kieran was over her much faster than she could react, sweeping her up and pinning her to the wall beside the bed with both arms above her head. She felt the weight of his body press into her, strong and hard, so familiar it hurt. Thrown off guard, she gasped for air while struggling against him, but stood no chance. His face was only inches from her own, and to her surprise, in his eyes she recognized the same flicker of lust she had encountered so many years ago.

„Don't test me“, he growled in a low voice. „I'm sick of pretending to be perfect and adjusted. I did what was expected of me, don't dare you judge my decisions. You have no idea what it's like, having to measure up to your family's expectations." His expression was hard, hurt and weariness reflected in it. "I have nightmares about our escape. The frantic flight towards our frigate, unsure if we'd make it. Everyone screaming at me. Emotions flaring high. That airlock, slamming down on your arm. And I wake up confused and hope it's you sleeping near me but it never is. Never dared tell anybody about the dreams. I couldn't muster the courage to contact you because I knew exactly that _this_ was going to happen.“

He was rubbing his jaw against the side of her neck now, breathing heavily. Jane realized how much it took to restrain himself. Her heart was beating against Kieran's. Suddenly, she felt as if her legs weren't carrying her anymore. She, too, knew what was going to happen. Old familiar feelings were bubbling up inside her, the all-embracing heat she thought she had lost, carrying her along like a very powerful river. Her body remembered, yearned for him. It took all of her willpower not to simply lean back and present herself, free to the taking.

„Kieran, _ow_! We can't!“, she finally urged him when she regained some control. „You have a mate. You have a _son_ , for goodness' sake!“

Defiance in his eyes, he growled, a deep, disturbing sound that made her wince.

„I don't care“, he answered hoarsely and bared his teeth, glaring at her. „I will return to the Citadel tomorrow, and all this will be forgotten. But tonight, I want to remember, whether you approve of my choices or not.“

It was then that Jane realized she would never be able to persuade him, nor reject him. Not that it was necessary, anyway. He had been all she wanted then, and he still was, no matter the time, or distance. She let go of the wall of reason she had tried constructing, instead giving way to the painful yet sweet feelings that had been stowed away for such long time. With a faint, nearly inaudible sigh, she let her head fall to the side, her hair sliding from her nape, exposing a sunkissed neck. Still holding her arms pinned firmly to the wall with one hand, Kieran gave her a gentle nip right above the clavicle, where he had marked her before. Jane sobbed. So many years, and yet it felt like yesterday. She couldn't fathom why someone not even belonging to the same species as herself was able to provoke such strong feelings in her, how this creature with its raptor-like features and hard plated skin could do it, but after all, lust and love were universal.

When he finally let her wrists go, she stood on tiptoes to reach up to him, wrapped her arms around his neck, pulled him down to place her forehead and nose against his. Nuzzling his mouth plates with her lips, she extended her hands and started rubbing the back of his head right underneath the fringe, which rewarded her with a light purr.

„Still the same softie of five years ago, I see“, she teased lovingly, and he shot her a bold glance from his bright green eyes.

As they sank down on the mattress, it amazed her how their bodies still seemed to fit together again so naturally after such a long time, through all of their physical differences. In a daze, they undressed, hovering over each newly exposed part, recollecting and savouring it with all of their senses. By now they knew enough on how not to endanger each other, so they took their time, wandering down teasingly with kisses and nips, tongues and hands, stroking and caressing, whispering small words of encouragement. They slept curled together when they were exhausted, and when Kieran woke in the early morning, there was Jane near him, the way he had dreamed so many nights. He sighed, got dressed in the dim dawn light, then left silently.

 

* * *

 

When Jane woke, it was already bright morning. Dean was apparently busying himself in the kitchen, while from the beach, laughing voices in play could be heard. She remembered as much as not to be disappointed when she got up, because she knew Kieran wouldn't be waiting for her. There had never been a common future for them, they both were aware of that. Although deep inside she had known all along, it hurt to admit it to herself.

Stowing the sadness away for later, she decided to go down to meet her guests. A quick look in the mirror proved her right in her assumption that she looked completely disshevelled and that she was sporting quite a few scratches and bruises from last night when Kieran as always hadn't managed to keep himself in check, but she didn't care. Running carbon fingers through her hair in a half-hearted effort of detangling it, she walked down the stairs to the dining hall.

The asari were having breakfast at the beach house today, all five of them happily tucking into the vegetable omelets and fresh juice Dean had made them. When Jane came in, they quickly glanced at her, then started urgently whispering to each other, giggling. Jane didn't know what it was about, but was pretty sure they were talking about her. It made her a bit proud that she had been seen with a handsome turian yesterday and that she was now displaying some blatantly clear indications of what they had been up to last night. _Only the better if the asari take our story to the stars_ , she thought defiantly.

On her little rush of euphoria, Jane shot Dean a smug look when she entered the kitchen to prep lunch, switching on the radio on her way to the sink. The cook gave her a thumbs-up and a wiggle of his eyebrows, but he knew her well enough not to ask any questions yet. The sound of an ukulele filled the room.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...and that was the last part of the story, hope you all enjoyed the read! As always, comments and suggestions are highly appreciated!  
>  Now, I had a few people contact me and ask for a happy ending, so since it‘s 2018 now I thought, why not?
> 
> I decided it‘s up to you to choose how you want this story to end!  
> Go to chapter 10 for the original bittersweet ending epilogue, or skip directly to chapter 11 for an Alternate Happy Ending (it‘s like a story mod!)


	10. Epilogue (Original)

It had been a long shift. Kieran signed off on his omni-tool and returned his service weapon to the rack. All around him, his colleagues from C-Sec were busy getting ready for their assignments or, like him, checking out. He had brought his son to the day-care center before leaving while his mate was out on late duty the whole week, so he had a few hours to himself. Waving goodbye to his coworkers, he thought about a quiet evening at home with a beer or two. It sounded like a good plan.

„Hey“, a very familiar female voice behind him called out suddenly as he was leaving the office, „want to go for a drink? Took me hell of a time to track you down after you left Earth, you insolent turian, so you'd better say yes!“

Stopping in his tracks, Kieran chuckled lightly to himself and turned around. Tonight was definitely getting more interesting...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who are into bittersweet!
> 
> The end..?


	11. Epilogue (Happy Ending Mod)

„Starting lunch without me?“, Jane suddenly heard Kieran‘s amused voice behind her.

She whirled around, both the pot of curry and her conversation with Dean forgotten, and the ladle she had been holding in her hand clattered to the stainless steel countertop.

For the first few seconds, she wasn‘t sure what to feel. The situation was surreal. He was gone. He told her he‘d go back to the Citadel. Yet there he stood, in the door to her kitchen, like a bad special effect, holding a huge bag of fresh fruit in his arms. Her mouth completely dry, all Jane could do was open and close it a few times, like a fish out of water, overwhelmed with different emotions at seeing him there.

Noticing both her and Dean’s confusion, Kieran spoke up, his voice soft.

„I was going to leave with Anderson, but I couldn‘t. I’m tired of keeping up an image of someone I’m not. I did you wrong. This is my only chance of doing something right for once.“

He took a few cautious steps towards her, navigating around all the foreign cooking appliances, and set down the bag he was carrying. Intrigued, Jane let her gaze wander over its content. Guavas, mangos, different fruits from the colonies that thrived in Kaua’i’s tropical climate... A big pineapple rolled over the edge of the countertop and landed on the floor with a very definite thud.

„Sorry I disappeared. I... had to take a long walk to contemplate everything. Came by a market and thought about you. I didn‘t know if you liked any of these, so I got all of them..?“

Kieran’s hands gestured towards the pile of fruit helplessly. Insecurity was shining through in his subvocals, and seeing him so flustered, Jane broke into a smile. Time, space, and a lot of regrets and bitterness had separated them, but she felt closer to him now than ever.

„I love all kind of fruit“, she said with a laugh, closing the distance between them with two steps, circumnavigating the pineapple before the cool carbon of her right hand came to a rest on his forearm.

„Kieran, I don‘t want to estrange you from your family, yet I‘m so happy you‘re still here with me. It makes me feel bad?“

It came out sounding more like a question than a statement.

Kieran reached out, gently nuzzling her cheek, his mandible brushing against her soft skin.

„Jane, please don’t. We‘ll figure it out. But I don’t want to talk about this now. I need a vacation first.“

She melted against him with relief and a sob, hands resting on his carapace, all the angles of his body new yet familiar. In her mind‘s eye, the beach stretched out under a blue pacific sky, peaceful, and two people were walking through the surf, side by side. The smaller one with sun-kissed shoulders, right leg dragging just a tiny bit. Her companion tall, alert in a way only turians could be, but with a distinct calmness to his movements.

Here was where she wanted to be.

„You‘ve come to the right place then“, Jane said softly. „Welcome home.“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...for all the romantic souls out there  <3
> 
>    
> Awesome art by the wonderful salmonportfolio.tumblr.com! Thank you girl <3
> 
> Want more Jane and Kieran? Please move over to the 'Ficlets and Drabbles' section on my Works Page!


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